internship hunting frustration

While I am waiting for my last interview results, I just learnt that my backup internship (which I thought was a sure thing) was not offered due to apparent non availability of funds. Though I dont understand what a billion dollar financial services firm would save by not paying me $4000 for 3 months :(

I started my MBA because I felt I had reached a point in my career beyond which I couldn't grow both emotionally and functionally. I thought my 4 years of experience including my 1.5 years at the previously mentioned firm as a Business Analyst would make me an ideal candidate for an internship for the US firms.

Looks like I was wrong. I had only 4 interviews over 4 months so it works out to an average of one interview per month. Some found better applicants while some had only 2 positions available for the summer itself but where interviewing students from 10 universities.

One of my friends in school mentioned that I always appeared happy, well I work hard to put up that face. I dont want to be bogged down by this job search , I came here to get a good education and an even better experience with international students. My friend wouldnt understand how much of pent up emotions are within me.... they have ranged from absolute dejection..to a feeling of unworthiness.
I have rallied myself (I think) and am looking forward to the future.

Hey maybe I will get into this last firm after all ;-) but whatever be the outcome I will take it stoically. Maybe it is not good to suppress the bad emotions, but I certainly share my good feelings with my friends.

Oh well I have rambled enough....I shud be doin something like a job search now ;-)