SSK Chronicles

Everything here is straight from my heart : nuthin more nuthin less. This is my place to pour out the Emotions smouldering within me...

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Location: West Lafayette, Indiana, United States

hmm I think of myself as paradoxical : A non vegetarian who doesnt like to kill or hurt other living things, A ceaseless romantic who sometimes thinks that relationships are just not worth gettin into since someone eventually gets hurt, A dreamer who ends up being more realistic, A pessimist who hides his optimism in pessimism & finally just another normal human being.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Am I incomplete

July 23rd is a Saturday, It was a beautiful day and late in the evening there was heavy rain.
Well I was looking at the mirror and suddenly a strange feeling came over me. I felt that I was incomplete. There was this feeling of utter uselessness.
I felt as if i was doing nuthin of use. Why do i feel as if a part of me has gone missing ???? Life has changed a lot from my schooling days.
I hate my job as a software engineer ( it's more of a software coolie ), I hate my current state of living. I dunno what i'm missing, if only I realized it , my life wud be better. Is it my friends that i'm missing or is it my close cousins i'm missing or am I missing someone like She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named ????
She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named used to be my Agony Aunt , while in college i used to talk to her every day and after talking to her I felt a whole lot better. She used to alleviate my problems, in fact sometimes she would share her problems with me and i too felt that i was being of some use.I thought we were in a perfect symbiotic realtionship.
Well 2 years have passed since we all passed out of college and now She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named is in the USA working on some project for infosys whike I'm still stuck in chennai. It's easily been more than a year since I talked freely with anybody, I guess now I'm keeping all my frustration and anger within myself. I just hope i can find a way to release this anger within me.
In a way I think if i can find another She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named it would help a lot.